(Translation of an article from 02 August 2018)
Today I found out that a friend’s 22-year-old son … has „gone”. I have not used the word dead for a long time, because I really believe in the title of the article. What can you say to a parent in such a moment? Are there words that will ease his pain? No one can comfort you except yourself. I think it is one of the hardest separation you could have to learn to live with. But… if we believe that we are more than what the light reflects in our sight, namely the physical body, is there really a separation? It took me a long time to understand and accept that sometimes, there is something beyond us and our understanding, calling us. At that moment, we or someone dear to us will leave, no matter what we do. Life will make it so that the departure is fulfilled. It’s very hard (at least for me, although I understand now … but it’s still hard) to understand the departure of someone you love, no matter how he or she leaves. Whether it is a breakup, leaving of the home house of the child when he starts on his way, or leaving as the young man above, letting go is one of the hardest inner decisions. Everything can change in a fraction of a second …
And so, here comes the first lesson I learned from today’s news:
If we feel like saying something to someone from the bottom of our heart, we must never postpone it. If we feel like doing something, let’s do it when the heart signals to us. If we feel like getting in touch with someone, we must get our hands on the phone or even go to that person in that moment. Because it is not known if we will have the opportunity again. Sometimes later … it may be too late! I learned this from a dear friend, who also left some time ago to travel on two wheels in other worlds … He always before leaving said, „I love you!” And offered a hug. I asked him, „Taz, why are you doing this?” He replied … „Manolo, because I don’t know if I will have the opportunity again!”.
The second lesson …
Every time I receive such news, I say to myself: „From now on I will not postpone anymore!” I am sure I am not the only one who feels this way … But for how long do we manage to keep this state of mind? How long before we forget what caused us to change our attitude and start to say again: „The waiter’s word at closing: There is another day tomorrow!” If I have to talk about myself, not for long. But why is it like this? Because we lose our state of presence. Because we let ourselves attracted to the whirlwind of thoughts, routine and everyday life. Because we are losing from our attention that the only moment that exists is NOW. The past is only in our memory, and the future is something to come. We are losing from our attention that the only moment when we can do something that matters is NOW. So, if we ever find ourselves in a situation where we wonder: What would be the right time to call a friend, family member or say I LOVE YOU? The answer is: NOW!